Some warm arms

Sometimes you feel like you just need someone to love you; like you just need someone to wrap their arms around you and stay there until you're ready for them to leave. Sometimes it is nice to feel like someone needs someone at the very time that you need someone and they pick you. Most times it feels great for someone to ask how you are and really want to know the answer; for someone to care about you above many of the distracting things going on in life.

This was not intended to be a valentine's day related post. I had forgotten until just now that tomorrow was valentine's day. But I suppose it is appropriate.

I am so happy with where my life is right now and with where it is headed. I am not sure if I would change anything. It is jolting, though, to see so many people be with people that they really, really want to be with. How did that happen to them when I thought it had happened to me and now I am without it? It assures me that most everyone else has something fleeting, also. I am positive that I will have the same thing again. But what of it when it comes? I'm not really sure. Will it be important? Will I feel a lot or a little? Will it even matter? What of all of the probable feelings to develop inside of me? And what of the person that stands opposite me? It is alarming to realize that it may not even matter; ever.

So, then, I guess the only purpose of beginning again is just to begin. Then, once it begins, it begins to end. Should I really perceive it to be this way? Should it be in the back of my mind while I pretend?

Two ladies and a gentlemen sat in my section today. After they had finished eating they asked what my valentine's day plans were for the night. I laughed and said I didn't have any. They were completely shocked and asked why no guy had bothered to ask me to be his valentine when I was such a pretty girl with such a great personality. Well, I guess I just don't know and since I don't know that's what I told him. I just don't know. Maybe I chose that? I'm pretty sure I did. A good question would be... do I want to keep it going? Or do I want to try again?

I suppose no one wants to be all alone when they could be with someone else. Then, again not a lot of people would want to deal with the stress and drama and hurt.

But everyone wants to be close. Right? In your heart, you really just want to be close.

I love you.

Goodnight.

And then I learned to say goodbye

Letting go opens your soul to manifest wondrous creations. I feel free. I am happy. I can do anything and I accept everything. My life is open and I am creating each moment. What is going on? I love my life. I love the world I live in because even its imperfections are perfect and whole.

What can I say about myself? My heart is open and my soul is open. I am not waiting and I am not pushing. I am just living. I am just breathing. I am just creating and being. Everything is as it should be and as soon as it isn't I change it. I am in complete control of my life and when I am not all I do is let go and everything is okay.

Everything is so cool; what I see ahead of me; what I see before me; what I see behind me. It is all just so impressive. It's so incredible. Everything fits snuggly. It fits all around me. It breathes with me. It bends to me. I am endless in it.

I am going to Costa Rica in March!!! =] I also auditioned for my first professional opera (the chorus, no big). I am applying for a scholarship so that I can do a vocal summer program. I may just apply for a research position here at GV. I may go to Virginia after school is out. It all...... is great.

... You know, when you let go of letting go, it's funny that what you had always wanted when you couldn't let go happens. But now when it does, you're still gone. And you feel you may just never come back because you just don't have to. Because you finally let go. What's funny is, you really don't know that you have learned to say goodbye until what you said goodbye to says hello again. Even though you don't completely disregard the possibility that you may say hello back, you seem pretty okay with keeping it at goodbye.

Love Life