I am okay with everything that I am. I respect myself and I am exactly who I want to be each given moment. If I am changing from action to action that is something I will not try to manipulate. I believe I can truly say that I have not a regret, even when my heart is heavy.
The thing that I am relearning is that time and place are very relative. Two days can feel like three very long weeks. And growing up can be perceived as abandonment when really it is people looking for themselves not knowing that they have been there all along.
I may not see everything that is in someone's heart, but I know the possibilities. That makes me feel much more comfortable with where I am because I have the power to choose which possibilities to believe in.
When I was observing, I could see us in everything that was going on. I always do. But last night I finally understood that I know nothing about where we stand, individually and together. All I can do is imagine. I won't. I need to stay released. I can love you that way. The most important thing, though, is I can love myself that way, too.
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I do believe I am going to the mall today. If I am not called into work today I am having a full night of studying. Honestly, that's what I am hoping for and I am super excited about it. What can I say, I am a full fledged nerd. I really hope I can practice today, too.
My singing feels so much more comfortable and honest. I feel like myself. I don't feel like I am trying to hide or display anything. I am just doing what comes naturally. I want to keep it that way. Thank you, Dale.
A week from now I will be on stage rehearsing the same oratorio that has been etched in my brain for the past six years. I will be with the people that I graduated from. I really can't wait to be home. I love it here, but I breathe home air.
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