Buh-bye

I'm not sure why, but you have decided you're done already. Your arrival was sudden and unexplained, as was your departure. I have a feeling it was meant to be because I have no answer from you no matter how many times I ask. You just felt like dropping me, I guess. Well, I suppose it was all in good timing.

One more week of a relaxing summer break and then what may be the hardest semester of my college career commences.

20 hour a week job
16 legal GV credits
4 LCC credits
3 (4?)extra curricular organizations
2 dance classes
1 Junior recital

I guess I'm supposed to have a social life, prep for the winter opera, practice enough so that I am prepping my career along with keeping up with this semester, and do the 3 credits worth of outside work required for my 1 credit choir class.

This should be a piece of cake!

I'm trying to be optimistic here.


Well, I asked for it all... It should be an experience.

To look at the bright side, next semester should be a nap on a park bench compared to this, even considering that I am taking Topology, the hardest math class in an undergrad career. And I will be doing the opera most likely. Plus... I'll still be in choir. Yugh... Good thing it's my last year of it.

Next summer's goals:

Study abroad Ireland or Egypt
Participate in a really good REU or get accepted into a summer long music theater or opera program
Knock out one gen ed class online at LCC
...Meet someone special? Pretty sure that is not a goal so much as it is a longing to make it a habit of finding someone special every summer only to have them toss me a side like a blanket with anthrax. I may be resentful a little. =P It is at the very bottom of my list. Who needs it?

I'm excited. This year, as stressful as it is going to be, just may be the year that I break into my real adult self... Or it'll just teach me to never try to break my limits again.

First things first

Please don't let me wreck this! I don't care about the past and who did what. I just want to do this right. I want to stay honest. I don't want to run away.

Don't be scared.
Don't be timid.
Be reckless.
Be wild.

When the sweetest guy in the world walks into my life the first thing I think is that I can't trust him. I'm sure it's with good reason, but it's not the right thing to do. Everyone should be trusted until they give a reason not be.





IN other News

I'm looking for some changes, but still feeling some nostalgia for a little of my past. I don't care. I want to be free. I want to live variously. I want to stay me.

And then...

I miss school. I want to go back. I want to learn. I want to read. I want to do homework. I want to sing.

I have a junior recital to plan. I want to do theory again. I want to do math again. I want to be submersed, even though I know I'm going to feel like I'm drowning soon into it. It's what I live for... at least 8 months out of the year.

I need to dance.

I need to be new. I need to be me.

I need to let go.